BULLYING has become a huge issue these days….
No one likes a bully! Remember back in grade school, there was always at least one bully and everyone knew them by name. In most cases that bully’s reputation carried on through junior high and many times even high school. I bet to this day you still remember your bullies name or the name of a bully that you saw torment others.
Did you ever stand up to this bully? As an adult and especially if you are a parent, we are quick to stand up for our children. We work hard to teach them to stand up for themselves and those around them. As we have matured we can look back and say “Bully ‘A’ was just insecure about _____!” or “Bully ‘B’ was just jealous of _____!”
I have always wondering if the bully knows they are THE BULLY.
What if you are the bully? Think about that for a second…… Do you consider yourself a bully?
Do you think you would recognize this about yourself? Maybe you say
“Not me, I’ve never bullied anyone!” Ok, well maybe!
BUT ask yourself this next questions….
DO YOU BULLY YOURSELF?
Yes, you read that correct…..WHAT if you bully yourself? Do you ever tell yourself that you are fat, ugly, etc. I call this “BODY BULLYING” and I see this every day. People bashing themselves about their weight, their looks, their butts or stomachs…the list goes on and on.
While I was on my flight home from San Diego, I decided to write this post about bully’s. I was even more deteremined to discuss this topic when I saw the following status a few days later on Facebook from a colleague of mine who lives in San Diego.
So something must have been in the air. 🙂 So I reached out to my friend and colleague Franz Snideman, SR. SFG and ask him to contribute to this article also……
We would never allow someone to speak so NEGATIVELY to us or about us, so why is it okay to talk to ourselves in the bullying manner? What are we teaching our children? What message are we sending to those around us?
It’s all about mindset, Confidence radiates beauty! It’s about self love, becoming your own protector and role model. Just think about the difference you can make if you teach yourself to stand up to your BULLY…YOU!
Rather than waking up and looking in the mirror and saying “ugh, I can’t stand my ____!”
Maybe start your day with a positive comment like “My ____is a beautiful work in progress!” Seeking improvement or perfection can be a negative or a positive. It all depends on how you speak to yourself. It may seem weird at first, but the more you talk kind to yourself the sooner you will feel the love!
I don’t feel that it is bad to want to improve your body, but it will never improve if you continue to bash yourself. This causes more stress which in return increases Cortisol levels and wreaks more havoc. And if your belly is what you are bashing then it is a never ending cycle because this stress will also cause belly blotting. So tell me how that will help you reach your goal.
While you are being a positive role model for your child, you will become a positive role model for yourself.
You are just as important!!
Teach them early to love themselves…all of them from their brains all the way to the tips of their toes.
So today I am going to give you a new exercise, this is not physical one like I would normally be assigning you…but instead a mental workout.
1. Get up and walk to the mirror.
2. Smile at “YOU”.
3. Speak out load to yourself.
4. Stand up to your “INNER BULLY”
– I am not taking your bullying any longer!
– I am stronger than you!
- I am beautiful!
5. Be your own voice of reason.
6. Each time you pass a mirror speak to yourself
– “ Good Afternoon, I love you” – “ Good Evening, I will not allow you to bash me”
Remember this is your first exercise of the day, I am there in spirit coaching you…I’ve got your back when you are standing up to your bully. Until you believe yourself…just say “Karen believes in me and says you can’t bully me any longer”. I promise you that it will not take long to change your mindset. Once your mindset changes, so will your body. And always remember if you don’t lover yourself, why should anyone else?
Here’s what my friend Franz had to say about Bullying….
Nobody likes Bullies. I certainly don’t.
As a Strength and Nutrition Coach for over 16 years I can tell you that the biggest bullies out there are the ones that live inside you.
They are the ones that tell you cannot achieve a goal. They tell you how unworthy you are. They remind you over and over again of your failures and how even attempting to achieve your goal is a waste of time.
In simple words; our inner bullies can leave us completely demoralized, anxiety ridden and stuck in a rut.
In the StrongFirst community we teach that Strength is a Skill. We must take this same principle and apply it to mental and emotional health. Confronting our inner bullies is a SKILL, one that we must all cultivate.
What is the Best Solution to deal with our inner bullies?
