In today’s world cattiness and competition are running ramped. It seems so much more prevalent between women. Take a second, close your eyes and picture a room filled with 50 women. What does that feel like to you? Do you feel anxiety building from within? Now add to that same vision that those 50 women are either fitness enthusiast or fitness professionals. Did that stress level just increase or maybe even sky rocket?
Last weekend I attended the RADIANCE RETREAT hosted by my friends/colleagues Jen Sinkler, Neghar Fonooni and Jill Coleman.
I have to honestly say I was pleasantly surprised that the room we probably all just pictured was replaced with something much different.
Now close your eyes again and picture a room filled with those same 50 women smiling, sharing their stories and building a SISTERHOOD that we all have dreamed of.
Doesn’t that feel so much better? Well that was what the weekend was all about. This setting was one where it didn’t matter what we wore, how we fixed our hair or even what our profession was. What mattered was that we were all there to share and grow.
The normal cattiness and competition was NOT present. It didn’t matter if our butts looked great or we had an amazing 6 pack. We were all there to help each other grow, mentally, personally, emotionally and professionally.
SO HOW DO WE FIX THIS GROWING ISSUE?
In this post I want to talk to you about change. How can we change this cycle that seems to be ever increasing, It seems to be starting earlier and earlier. My daughter began experiencing mean girl type situations in probably 2nd or 3rd grade. Now as a 5th grader it has increased 10 fold. The drama and stress I see her under when I pick her up from school makes me very sad.
WHERE DO WE START?
It starts with YOU! (ALL WOMEN)
- First, we must begin to LOVE ourselves right now– as we are. Not 10lb ago and not _ sizes ago or _ sizes from now. We have to REMOVE the FEAR of what others may think or say to us or about us.
- Second, we must teach our daughter (all children really) to love themselves through our positive examples. It is our job to teach them that you can have competition through a sport but that life in and of itself is NOT a COMPETITON. There should not be competition regarding body image.
- Third, we must always think first before speaking. Just because something appears one way doesn’t mean that is the case. Never judge others, because we never truly know what is going on in their world…emotionally, mentally, physically. We are all human and not one of us is perfect.
- Next, Cattiness doesn’t just come from others. We can be just as terrible to ourselves. We can do the same damage to our own self esteem by the way we speak to ourselves. I challenge you to a new exercise, each day practice speaking positive to yourself and others about yourself and those around you. We need to make a positive change and only through practice will it just become natural.
This is only the tip of the ice berg – I am sure that we can all picture someone (maybe our self) who has fallen pray to C&C, that has pushed us to an unhealthy place. Whether it be an issue with our body, with an eating disorder or some crazy depression. When these things become the focus our mental space is not healthy and that is when cattiness can take over.
We have all at one time or another thought or said something negative about another female. The ugly beast that we know as jealousy rears its head and draws into a black hole that takes work to climb out of.
YOU ARE ENOUGH! We are ALL ENOUGH, just as we are in this very moment.
If you find yourself thinking or speaking catty about another women or (YOURSELF), stop in your tracks and speak something POSITIVE.
At the Radiance Retreat, we did an exercise that took us all out of our comfort zone. We were instructed to stand facing another women and look into their eyes and speak words that came to mind. Then when the clock buzzed we switched to different women and did the same drill over and over. While it started our strange we all left this experience smiling and laughing.
We finished off the weekend with two other things that normally cause anxiety.
- Stand up and speak about our feeling in a group.
- Spend time on the beach in our bikinis.
#1 Brought about smiles, laughs and tear. Not only from those sharing but from those listening.
#2 Brought about relaxation, fun and socializing in a TOTALLY JUDGEMENT FREE ENVIROMENT.
Not an ounce of CATTINESS or COMPETITION, it did not matter what our bodies looked like in our bikinis, it was just about the SISTERHOOD.
Let’s start a new movement!
- A movement of Love, Compassion, Sisterhood
- A movement that bands negativity, cattiness, unhealthy competition
- A movement that teaches RESPECT for ourselves and for those around us
- A movement that shows young girls what KINDNESS looks like
- A movement that says WE ARE ALL ENOUGH
- A movement that teaches you to follow your passions & proves there is ENOUGH FOR ALL OF US
The next generation needs this movement and needs it now!